Jack's crazy adventures
by fullhouseroxsavvy
Summary: Jack is on a new adventure with will's long lost, odd brother...read to find out! Ps..this is a story told BY Jack...if u read it and didn't get it...now it should make sense!
1. Whatever happened to countering bad luck

Chapter 1: Whatever happened to countering bad luck?  
  
Well after a nice long journey of getting my ship back from Barbossa, I decided to visit Tortuga to see how me ladies were doing.  
  
"Anamaria!"  
  
{slap} "You never gave me back my ship!!" she said raging with anger.  
  
"Well...uh...she's on her way love."  
  
"She better be...or it will be Mulligan stew...made of Jack!"  
  
"Whoa! Too touchy luv! Take one of them chill pill things!"  
  
Okay. So Anamaria ain't too happy with me...time to go talk to me matey Gibbs over some fine rum.  
  
"Aye aye Gibbs! Rise and shine!" I said throwing water on him, once more, to wake him up.  
  
"Hey! Ye be havin' lots o' bad luck fer wakin' a sleepin' man while he's sleepin'. Not only that, but what about takin' that woman on board? Can ye still counter that luck o' yers?"  
  
"Aye mate. Let's you and me have a talk o'er some rum."  
  
"That'll do it!"  
  
Slowly, strange things began to happen to me. Now you know how many scallywags there are in Tortuga right? Well one of them actually had the nerve to challenge me, Captain Jack Sparrow, to a sword fight!!! I can't believe he would cross blades with a pirate!!! Well I sure showed him.  
  
"Hey, who makes all these? Are you one of those scabrous Blacksmith dogs?" {Clank, clank, clank}  
  
"I make them; yes I'm a blacksmith; no I'm not a scabrous dog! Oh, and I practice three and a half hours a day."  
  
"Hey, you sound like the son of Bootstrap Bill did."  
  
"That's because I am. My only brother is Will, and he doesn't even know I exist! HA HA HA HA!"  
  
"Aye, you don't sound at all like Will now. How's about we be staying away from each other now, savvy?"  
  
"Sure, but always remember, Belt Buckle Bob is after you..."  
  
"Yeah yeah...always remember this as the day you almost scared Captain Jack Sparrow."  
  
Belt Buckle Bob? HAH! What a joke!!! Then some more strange stuff came about, like say...a cotton candy cow!!? Now that's too strange...even for me mate! This cow apparently thought he could outsmart me onesy...hah! I sure proved him wrong...  
  
"Hey Pirate! You'll never catch me!"  
  
I can only say this, that cow was dumb as a doggy bag...maybe even dumber 'cause he took me precious rum! Bloody cow! Now for candy hamburgers are now on the menu, served with fresh rum {sob}I miss me rum!  
  
"Hey cow?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you get me some more rum before I eat you?"  
  
"Yeah! Here's a few fresh bottles of Tortugan rum...the best kind."  
  
See? I told you that cow was dumb! Now I got me dinner and me favorite rum! What could go wrong?...  
  
AN: That's all for now! Sry it was hard to read before...I thought I typed it all! O well...this is the full, real chapter one...can you understand it better now? Lol R&R! 


	2. Where's me ship!

AN: I know I didn't get any reviews for this yet...so that's why im updating! I want people to read!!!!!!! ya....  
  
I own everything having to do with POTC!!! I will conquer POTC history!!! OK...so I don't really own Potc...in fact...I don't own anything except one copy of a DVD so I can watch it over and over again!!! YAY!!!  
  
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Chapter 2: Where's me ship?????  
  
After the best dinner last night, me Tortugan friend/fiend Anamaria,, invited me to her new ship...FROM GIBBS!!!!!!! What is he doing with me wenches?!! Anyway, I bde over seeing her new ship, and listening to that trash, the "you're not off the hook yet, I still owe her a ship" lecture; with slaps included...just what I wanted! And suddenly I see me own ship leaving the harbor. Now I have not the slightest ounce of a clue where me ship would want to go in the middle of the night...but it's bloody gone now!!!!...  
  
"Black Pearlie!! Anamaria, remember this as the day Captain Jack actually left you for his ships sake."  
  
"Sure! I'll do just that!" she said sarcastically. "This is going just as planned!" she whispered to herself after I left.  
  
Anamaria might not like me after I do this, but I'm going to 'borrow' another one of her ships...HEY!!! It's a pirate thing!!!  
  
"Drink up me hearties Yo HO!" I sang while chasing after me ship...Yeah I actually caught up to her!... Then she took a very interesting turn. I slipped up and landed on that little island that Elizabeth burnt all the rum on. (ooh bad thoughts now!!!) Now let's see...ten VERY LARGE paces past the hollow tree...one...two......ten! *Jack jumps* A-Ha! Here it is...hey! The rum runners are back in business...with me anyway! They were kind enough to leave some rum in the cache for me onesy self...ain't that nice o' them? Well, I'll take me bottles of rum on board and all, cause well, I have to go after me Pearl!!  
  
Here I come Black Pearl!! Belt buckle Bob, I'm after you too! I guess I'll have to shoot you with me pistol...like Barbossa!  
  
Now I'm almost up with me Pearlie...but wait, what be that strange sizzling sound in the background???  
  
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Dun, dun, dun!!! Cliffie! What is that sizzling noise...is it dangerous? Find out if you review!!! You review...I update...you don't review...you'll be hanging for a loooooooong time!!! Sry this chappie Is soooooooo short!! I will update soon...I already have it written! 


	3. Who stole me ship!

AN: ya...it Sunday...me bored...here's the third chappie...for all u folks that waited soooooooo long!!!!!!!! I own nothing...  
  
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Chapter 3: Who stole me ship!??  
  
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Ack!! It's a bomb!!!! Time to swing over to the Pearl...wait!! ME rum!! I made it out just in time along with only two bottles of rum. Oh joy...these should last about...oh say...four hours...only two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I'm on me ship; now it's time to find me captain's quarters! Yeah, I know I should know where they are...but aye, a pirate's also gotta know about the last ship he commandeered!! And we pirates only remember a few things...the IMPORTANT things. Like lasses names, me favorite rum, ravaging, pilfering, plundering, great comebacks, and how to cheat. Yup! Those be the good things in life! But anyway, here's the captain's quarters. Now who be inside? WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't savvy!!! That there is Belt Buckle BOB!!!  
  
"Jack..." said Will, "Get off my brother's ship or my wife will hunt you down."  
  
"Uhh...Will?"  
  
"Watch out Jack!!!! Bob is after you!" screamed Elizabeth.  
  
"Elizabeth! Glad to see someone here who ain't crazy!"  
  
"Enough of that Jack, quick! We need to find a way past Will, to get to BOB! Will doesn't even know Bob exists, and that's why!"  
  
"Hypnosis?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Well, luv, all ye do is make Willie here, get drunk...then you take him home and put him to sleep, and meet me back here. Then, I'll go in and deal with Bob, savvy?"  
  
"Great plan...meet you later!"  
  
"Sure."  
  
So there I was facing Bobby, eye to eye. He takes me hands, clamped them behind me back with an iron skillet, cuffs me legs with steel boots chained together, puts a metal jacket on me, and tosses me over board! I didn't even get me pistol!!!! Bloody Bob!!! So there I am...waiting for someone...or something...to come. Let me tell you this while we're waiting, I couldn't swim with all that iron on me. So anyway, I'm waiting and I see a shadow approaching in the not too distant, distance...  
  
Oh, and, don't get any ideas...I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!

AN: hope you's liked it! read and review pleze!


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